Although sex is one of the most natural of human instincts, we find it difficult to talk about openly and honestly, we get embarrassed at the mere mention of the word sex and although we want to know more, we keep silent about it for fear of offending or embarrassing others.
For most of us the first time we actually learn a little about sex is in high school, either in Biology class or in a sexual awareness class.
These classes teach us as teenagers about the changes to our bodies during puberty and the basic mechanics of what to do during sexual intercourse, they also teach us, how to prevent pregnancy and sexually related disease through the use of contraception and outline the various methods of contraception.
It is what these classes don't tell us that interest us most, questions that will remain unanswered until we actually experience sexual intercourse with a partner personally.
After the classes the liars start to crawl out of the woodwork, with all sorts of claims about their sexual prowess, I've slept with xxx and it was fantastic we did this and that and the other, blah, blah, blah.
These are the people who make us uncomfortable with ourselves and our bodies because we actually believe their claims, they are having sex a thousand times a week and I can't even get a girl to look at me. It is the people who tell all of these tall tales about a make believe sex life, that make us feel inadequate and insecure about ourselves.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I get a girl? What has he got that I haven't?
Do I smell? Am I ugly? Am I too fat? Am I too tall? Am I too short?
The more claims they make the more you believe and the more of their claims that you hear the more your self-confidence dwindles.
The truth is that the nearest these guys have ever got to a naked woman is through one of their dads magazines hidden under his bed or in a movie, the stories they tell probably also come from the same magazine or movie.
90% of the very few high school pupils who have actually had sex with a partner will not talk about it with anyone but the partner they shared the moment with. Sexual intercourse is a private and personal experience between the two people involved and talking about the experience with others is a big no no.
The First Time
Losing your virginity is often a big let down and it can leave you wondering what all the fuss was about, you get over excited and before you know it, it is over just as it was about to begin.
You and your partner are both nervous and a little bit scared, you are frightened that you will hurt her and she is frightened of the same, thoughts race through your head at a thousand miles an hour and then realisation sets in I am going to do it; at last I am going to have sex, at this point you lose all control of your brain and you rush everything and the moment you lost your virginity is over in seconds.
The first time is meant to be special but it is often spoiled, because we seem to be in a great hurry we get so excited that we are actually going to have sex that we get carried away with it.
Make it that special moment you dreamt about
To make the first time as special as you have always wanted it or dreamt it to be, you need to learn a little self control, start with gentle kissing and caressing, take your time, sex isn't just about intercourse, explore your partners body with your fingers and lips find out where your partner likes to be touched or kissed, take your time be gentle and don't be in any hurry, you will both know when it is time for intercourse to begin.
Again I can't stress enough try to be relaxed and take your time, contain your excitement and you will have a great memory of your first time that will last you for the rest of your life.
Sex is always a learning experience as well as a pleasurable one the more you learn about your partners likes and dislikes before, during and after sex the better your sex life will become.
Masturbation
Masturbation is a natural way of self-pleasuring, it teaches you where you like being touched and how much pressure you should apply for maximum pleasure, it also teaches you how to control ejaculation, which is a big plus and helps to increase the pleasure of a healthy sexual relationship.
Safe sex
I am a great believer in safe sex, please, please, please use a condom not only will it prevent any little surprises 9 months later, a condom will also protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and Aids.
IMPORTANT
Just because a girl likes you does not mean that she wants to jump into bed with you if she says no at any time then it is time to stop what you are doing.
If she is not ready yet, don't be angry with her and show her some respect and understanding, don't try to pressure her in to it when she is ready she will let you know.
